When Did Bullying Become OK?

I'm afraid I must step up onto a soapbox for a minute because I do not think I can take much more of this.

If you have been watching online for the last few years you would see that there has been a huge surge of people speaking out against bullying.  And rightly so because it is a huge problem in our society.  I work with children and teenagers and I know that it happens.  It's terrible and it hurtful and it MUST STOP!  Everyone seems to agree with this...until it is time for the elections.

Then it seems that adults all across the country decide that bullying is ok.  After all, the people they are talking about are politicians.  They made themselves fair game, right?  WRONG!  They decided to run for a political office.  They decided to try and make a difference in our country.  They did not decided that they and their family were just going to be "ok" with being bullied.

No matter what your political affiliation, this blog applies to you...and I'm talking to the politicians themselves too.  If we want to teach our children that bullying is wrong, then we have to stop it ourselves.  Would you like to explain why it is ok for you to verbally torture, tear down, and post embarrassing pictures of a politician, but it's not ok for them to do it of a classmate?  Do you realize what you are doing to the family of that politician?  How would you like it if your Mom, Dad, Aunt, or Uncle was being torn down all over the internet by people who had never even met them?  Do you know for an absolute fact that what you are saying is true?  Even if you do, why is it ok for you to post such things about this person while at the same time you are trying to teach children and teenagers that it is not ok for them to do the same to others?

This is a horrible and tragic double standard that MUST STOP.  Children learn by example.  What kind of example are you setting?  Teens do what others do.  Are the things you are posting something you would want said about you?  If not, DON'T POST IT!  Don't SHARE it.

If you don't like a particular politician, don't tear him or her down.  Build up your candidate.  Show off all his or her good points.  I don't care why you don't like the other candidate...tell me why you do like yours.  Is that so hard?  Or do you really not know enough about your candidate to do that.  If that's the case, then that is a whole other problem...and a whole other blog!

Am I the only one who sees this?  I hope not.

King of the Roller Coaster!

If you know me very well, you know that I am terrified of heights.  I don't even do well crossing bridges. (Side note:  Why are bridges so high anyway?  I mean, must you be a thousand feet in the air?  Couldn't you build the bridge a mere 75 feet above the water and still get across?  I don't know...good thing I'm not an engineer.)  I stay away from things like ladders, glass elevators, and especially roller coasters.  When I am high above the world, my legs shake, my hands get cold, my heart races and it's all I can do to breathe properly.  I realize that most of the time the fear is irrational, but that doesn't make it go away.

Fortunately, the roller coaster that is life does not affect me that way.  Life is full of twists, turns, dips, highs and lows and yet, it doesn't scare me at all.  I mean no one enjoys the lows of life, but those lows help us appreciate the highs and generally help us grow, so there is no sense in avoiding them.  The twists and turns keep life interesting.  Besides, the God I serve is the King of life's roller coasters.  He knows all the twists and turns, he's ready for the ups and downs, and he's better than any safety bar could be in protecting me.  With Him by my side, I have nothing to fear.  

I have recently been thinking a lot about just how big our God is and how much He cares for us.  It's an amazing thing to contemplate.  The One who created the very universe, formed all things into being, is all powerful and more amazing than words...He cares about me.  He's taking care of me!  And that knowledge can bring peace in the midst of any of life's roller coasters.  Thank you Jesus!

Just some thoughts that were rolling around in my head today.

A question for our World...

This blog is a bit more serious that others I've written, but I wanted to write it because today I've been thinking about God.  Now, I realize that probably doesn't come as a shock since I am in the ministry, but go with me here.

Tonight I'm taking our teens on location someplace (location left out in case one of them reads this before tonight) where we are going to look at God's creation and discuss just who He is.  I am reminded of that Scripture passage where Jesus asks Peter, "Who do you say I am?" (Matthew 16:15)  Peter, of course responds with, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the Living God." (Matthew 16:16)  Peter had to decide for himself who Jesus was, and it had become crystal clear.

Is it just me, or does it seem like people have forgotten who He is?  It reminds me of the Children of Israel when they were wandering in the desert.  God would continually send them help and when He did, they would be thankful and worship Him...for a minute.  Then the complaining would begin again.  Anyone else see our world doing this same thing? Only now, we are perverting who God is as well.  I'm hearing people talk as if you can pick and choose what you will believe about God...and whatever you choose to believe, that is what is correct.  WHAT?

God is unchanging.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Just because you choose to believe that He won't punish you for your sins doesn't make it true.  You can choose to believe there is more than one way to heaven, but that doesn't make it true.  God is the almighty and all powerful creator of the universe and He has told us the way to be saved.  He sent His Son to die for us.  We can choose to accept His amazing gift of salvation or we can choose not to.  The choice is ours to decide, but it is between those two choices.  You can't make up other choices to choose from.  The Bible isn't a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book.

So the question is coming at us again.  Who will we say that He is?  I say that He is my Savior, my Comfort, my Confidant, my Friend and so much more. He is the One True God.

Who do you say that He is?

You Might Be A Children's Pastor If...

So, I'm feeling a bit silly, so I put together this little list.  I'm sure my Children's Pastor friends could add to it, so feel free.   Enjoy!

You Might be a Children’s Pastor if:

           * You can improvise a lesson when all the “props” you planned to use decide to mutiny

           * You realize that props do indeed mutiny, but only at the most inopportune times, so always have a back up plan...and perhaps a back up back up plan.  :-)

* You have ever stapled a costume for a program so it would stay together long enough for the performance.

            * Empty toilet paper rolls are not something that you think should be thrown away.

            * You have no idea what music is popular unless there is a version out for kids.

            * You can name at least 5 children’s television shows on Disney or Nickelodeon

            * You can indeed pull a "MacGyver" on a Sunday Morning if needed

            

            * You understood the previous statement.

            * You find object lessons during any shopping trip

            * You realize that having an overhead projector is an incredibly important decorating tool

   

            * You know what station is Radio Disney

            * You could wallpaper your children's department in Oriental Trading magazines that NEVER STOP COMING!

            * Your office is often filled with random objects that seem to others to have no purpose but to you are just object lessons in waiting.

            * You have difficulty not coming up with motions for the songs in “big church”.

            * You can not stand still to give a lesson…even if it is for adults.

            * There is a wig in your office that is used most often when it is NOT Halloween.

            * You have a stockpile of masking tape and/or duck tape and you take some with you to any/all events “Just in case”.

            * You love Jesus and love teaching children all about Him.

Remembering...

It was a day much like any other day.  I had gone in a bit early to work at Ball State University.  I had turned on the television in the lobby of our office building and was listening to it as I started the computer and began the day in my office.

Then I got a phone call:
Co-worker: "Toni, do you have the TV on in your office?"
Me: "Yes, why?"
Co-worker: "Turn on the news!  A plane just hit the World Trade Center.  I'll be right there."

I got up and changed the station on the television to the Today Show and suddenly our "normal" day just stopped.  No one was working.  Everyone was glued to the screen.  Folks were coming in from nearby offices to see what was happening. Students started filing in.  Soon the lobby was full of people.  All of us in shock about what we were seeing.  First one plane hit.  Then another hit.  Then another hit the Pentagon.  It was all so surreal.

Our Graduate Assistant had recently been to New York and I will never forget him saying. "You don't understand all the people UNDER those Towers."  Until then I had never known that there was a mall underground beneath the Twin Towers.  We watched in horror as people were jumping out of the building to their deaths below.  And not just one or two.  People from both Towers jumping out of windows willing to take their chances that they might survive the fall...but they didn't.

Then the unthinkable happened.  One Tower fell.  We were all watching it, but still couldn't believe what we had just seen.  All those people...just gone.  The smoke on the television screen was so thick it looked like a wall coming toward the camera people.  Then when the shock of the first building falling began to subside we immediately thought about the second one.  Would it fall too?  Surely not.  It didn't get hit in the same place as the first.  Surely it would remain standing...and then it fell too.

We looked on...not able to tear ourselves away from the screen, but praying for God to be with those in New York.  We were trying to call our families to see if everyone was aware of what was happening.  To reassure ourselves that we were ok...that our families were ok, but even though we were in Muncie, IN and not New York City, the shock was just as real for us.

I remember when I went to lunch that day with a friend, we were still watching the television in a local restaurant and it was there that I heard about the fourth plane that had crashed in the field before it could reach the White House.  And I remember thinking, "When is this going to stop?  How many more are there?"

That day, the world changed.  Everything that we had taken for granted was up for grabs and our security in our every day lives was taken away.  People who went to church all the time and those who generally were not church going people were praying and crying out to God for help.  There was a tragedy that for those my age and younger was unequaled to anything we had ever seen in our country.  We, as a country, turned to God.  And rightly so.  He was there.  He was giving comfort and peace in horrible situations.  He was giving strength to those who needed it so desperately.  And then when the initial shock wore off, and the terror that had gripped so many subsided...sadly then so did their need for God.  But thankfully, God didn't leave.  He continued to give comfort and peace and strength and wisdom to all those who asked.  He was there in the midst of the rubble as people looked for survivors.  He was with the families waiting to hear if their loved one had escaped the building in time.  He was rejoicing with those who found their loved ones safe and comforting those who did not.

He continues to do so even today.  He stands there loving us...even when we don't deserve it.  Just waiting on us to turn to Him again...individually and as a Country.  He has so much to give us.  So much to share.  Let us not wait until tragedy strikes to reach out to Him.

When something like September 11th happens, it should remind those of us who know Jesus just how many do not.  We often think we have more time.  The people that died that day thought they had more days ahead of them.  They didn't know they were out of time.  We also don't know how much time we have ahead of us.  I could live to be 100 or I could die this afternoon.  My amount of time on this Earth is not known.  But I want to reach as many as I can for the Kingdom in the time I have.  When tragedy strikes, we should not have to reach out to God...we should be able to allow Him to hold us up because He's already holding us in His arms...if we will just let Him.

Learning from a Spider and a Lizard...

There is a spider that lives outside the main entrance of my home.  I am not a fan of spiders and my first thought was to kill it immediately...but when I saw him, I was very tired and I just didn't do it.  So, I left him alone.  It is now several days later and he is still there.  He doesn't seem to move.  Just sits in his web and watches the world go by.  So, I've decided since his is outside my home, I'm not going to bother him.  But I have given him a name.  I call him Henry.  I wonder what he looks at all day.  After all, not a lot happens outside the door of my home/office.  It is quite simply a stairwell. If you look up, you would see the entrance to my parent's home and an exit from the garage, but that is about it.  I wonder what he looks at all day.  Are there other bugs that stop in and pass the time of day with him?  Does he catch a lot of insects in his web?  It doesn't seem like it as I never see any.  Why doesn't he go somewhere where he'd have more insects around...if not for company, than for food.  But, he just stays in his corner...content for them to come to him.

Several years ago, I lived in a very small home in Pompano Beach, FL.  Lizards abound in South Florida.  They are just everywhere and one found it's way into my house.  Now the problem was, it lived on my ceiling and was very fast.  I couldn't reach him and by the time I would get a chair so I could get to him, he would have moved to another part of my ceiling once again out of my reach.  It was terribly annoying until I just decided that he was planning to stay around, so I named him as well.  His name was also Henry.  I chose it because I didn't know the gender of the lizard and figured if it was a girl, then it could be short for Henrietta. (That's the reason I chose Henry for the spider too).  Like Henry the spider, it never seemed to go very far.  Henry the lizard would pretty much just stay on my ceiling.  I wondered what it did all day while I was at work, but then decided I probably really didn't want to know.  But he helped keep the ants at bay (which seemed to be overrunning the area around my home) and that was quite nice of him.  But right outside my door were lots of other lizards.  I heard them scurry away when I would walk in the grass.  I wondered why he never tried to leave and join them?

Sometimes I think we, as Christians, are a bit like these two Henry's.  We often stay in one spot.  We don't see beyond our little world and really have no desire to branch out into another area.  We are thrilled when others come to see us, but going out ourselves simply doesn't appeal.  How sad when there are hundreds of people just outside dying to know our Savior.  But we have to be willing to go to them...for they probably won't just show up and ask about Him.

I'm going to let Henry the spider stay outside my door...then every time I leave, I can remind myself that I don't want to be like him.  I don't want to be stuck in one small corner content with only ministering to those who come to me.  I want to go out and see who God opens the door for me to talk to.  

Amazing what God can teach me...even through a spider and a lizard.  :-) 

The Perfect Vacation

It is interesting to me that Summer has such different meanings to different people. Most people look forward to Summer as a time of vacations and spending more time with family because there is no school keeping students and teachers occupied. It's a time of rest and rejuvenation as people enjoy the sunshine and pretty days.

Unless, of course, you are a Youth or Children's Pastor.  Then Summer is a marathon that you have to psych yourself up for.  Now, I'm not complaining.  There are lots of fun things that we get to plan in the summer that we couldn't do at other times of the year.  Things like Camp, Swim Parties, and Vacation Bible Schools are they type of events that make Summer exciting...but they also make summer busy.

On my District (The Indianapolis District) in the summer, I can expect: Teen Camp, Kids Camp, Vacation Bible School, District Assembly, District Missions Convention (and Kids Mission Day), Campmeeting and our other local church activities.  If I were on the Northeastern Indiana District (where I have some friends) there would be all of that, but they have 3 different Children's Camps over three weeks in the summer instead of just one.  Suffice it to say, for anyone who ministers to young people, summer is anything but a time of vacation. But as busy as it is, it's so fun to get to work with people that you only get to see on occasion at other times of the year.  We have some amazing Children's Pastors and Children's Ministry Directors on our District and I love getting to work with them.  It's always a time of great fun and lots of laughter.  I also got to meet and work with some great teenagers and that was a huge blessing as well.

However, now that the summer is nearly over, and the kids are going back to school soon, I can take a few days to relax and I am SO EXCITED!  I have just started a 4 day vacation and what are my plans, you ask?    Rest!  Lots of rest and the opportunity to catch up on those things that have had to take a backseat in recent days.  Cleaning and laundry have been in "only what's necessary" mode for the past few weeks.  Now I will get the opportunity to catch up. My family would probably tell you that I have never been much of a "clean freak."  And they would be right.  I don't mind a little clutter and I am awful about remembering to dust things.  I wish I had inherited the "I think cleaning is fun" gene that my Mom got, but sadly it must skip a generation.  So when I say that, even for me, my house is in a state of disarray...well, let's just say that this time off couldn't have come at a better time.  :-)  I HATE spiders, but there is one that has taken up residence in a doorway that I never use...and up to now, I just didn't have the energy to get rid of it.  Poor little spider...it's day has come!  To be fair, I have given it ample time to find another residence.

So, this is going to be a perfect vacation.  I'll clean, do laundry, get rid of the spider in the doorway, watch the Olympics, and hopefully read a book.  Then on Saturday, I'll jump back into the fray more renewed and excited about the great things ahead!  God is so good and it is so fantastic to watch Him work in the lives of young people.  Busy or not, I wouldn't trade my profession for anything in the world.  God called me to be a minister to young people and I am blessed to have the opportunity!