The Devil's in My Pocketbook - Part 3: The GPS

The Devil's In My Pocketbook...and Other Things I learned from Grandma (Part 3)

The GPS

It's been awhile since I posted one of the stories/life lessons from my life with my Grandma James.  She has been on my mind frequently the last few days and this particular story has come to mind many many times over the years.

About ten years ago, my dear friend, Erica and her family were living in a small town in Ohio and I was planning a trip to go see them.  Because it was going to simply be a day trip (it was only about two hours from my Grandma's house) and because my Grandma was also very fond of this friend, she came with me to see Erica.  However, I had never been to Erica's home before as they had moved since my last visit with her, so when we got in the car, I plugged in the GPS and put in Erica's address.  The GPS started giving out directions and we started our road trip.  Almost immediately after the GPS started giving out directions, Grandma because very concerned.  Our conversation went something like this:

Grandma: How does it know where we are going?
Me: I put in Erica's address.
Grandma: (eyes wide...concern showing) But how does it know how to get there? (She clearly thought something nefarious was going on)
Me: It's computerized Grandma.  There are maps in it and it follows the maps. 
Grandma: But how does it know where we are going?  Is it watching us?
Me:  No, it's simply following the map from where we are.  

This type of conversation went on for several minutes.  I finally seemed to convince Grandma that the GPS was not some scary device someone was using to track us all down and she became rather quiet.  

After we had continued on our journey for a while with the GPS consistently giving out the directions I needed to follow, Grandma spoke up again saying quite matter of factly, "I bet that's a lot of company for you as you drive." 

I tried to hold it in.  I really did, but I couldn't help it.  I laughed and said, "Well, you know, I never thought about it that way before, but I suppose it could be."  

Grandma didn't quite grasp the concept of the GPS.  However, she was always concerned about any of us traveling alone.  And for some reason, she felt that the GPS might make us feel a little less alone and that seemed to give her comfort.  To this day, I can't turn on my GPS with out thinking of my Grandma's comment with a smile.  

She was like that.  She was smart, but simple in her way of looking at the world.  She didn't really understand a lot of technical things, but she was content seeing them as useful items for life...even if her use for them might be slightly different than what we might think of.  

I think God looks at us like that sometimes.  He sees us and knows exactly what our purpose is and He will lead us toward the plan He has for us.  He even gives us a "GPS" through His Word, but we sometimes don't see it as the way to get where we are going and view it as simply our "companion" who talks to us from time to time.  But when we use it that way, we are missing out on all that the Word has for us.  It's meant to give directions to help us get where we need to go, but it can only do that if we fully allow it to teach us...If we step away from it we are sure to get lost before very long.  But thankfully, the God's Word is faithful to help us back onto the right path if we are faithful to listen to it's directions.  

I will never again hear a GPS without thinking of my Grandma, and I'm not sure I'll ever view my Bible the same way either.  

Until next time...   

A Shout Out for Positivity...

In the sea of negativity and outright cyberbullying that has been flooding social media as of late, I thought I would share this thought.

A few days ago, one of my friends shared their thoughts on the person they were going to vote for this year. He did not bash the other candidate. He did not use any accusations of any kind. He simply listed the positive points about the candidate he was choosing. And I read his post. I will not say whether or not I agreed with his choice. But, his was one of the few where I sat back and thought, "Wow! This person has done some real research and had done a masterful job of showing the good points of their candidate." And the fact that he was able to do it without saying one divisive word about the other candidate made his post hold more weight than any other I have seen.

A well thought out positive post...that will always get my attention. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.  

So, I'm issuing a challenge to everyone!  There are 26 more days until the election.  Do you have the strength to quit bashing the "other candidate" and for the next 26 days and post only positive things about the candidate you prefer.  Or if you prefer not to disclose who you are voting for, post only positive things about voting in general.  There used to be a song called "Accentuate the Positive" and it pops into my head from time to time.  You can click the link to hear the song, but basically it says, "Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on the affirmative and don't mess with Mr. Inbetween."  Sure it probably seems like a silly song, but if we lived by those rules, what a difference there would be in our world...and in our elections.

Are you up for the challenge?  Positivity speaks far louder than negativity, so if you really want to support your candidate, #accentuatethepositive.   Use the hastag.  Let's see if we can get it to trend.  Maybe we can end this election season on a positive note...regardless who wins.  

Who's with me?  #accentuatethepositive

Saying Goodbye...

Grandma and her faithful companion, Bear.

In December of 2013, I moved in with my Grandma James.  I had taken a position at Anderson Parkview and because it was part-time, would not be able to afford my own place.  On the other hand, Grandma had reached the stage in life where she really needed someone around to help her.  So it was a perfect match.  And, though no one said so, I knew when I agreed to move in that I would be with her until she passed away.  And sadly, that time is drawing very near.

Family Vacation 1998

On Sunday, July 3rd, she went into the hospital and on Tuesday, July 5th, it was found that she was having a massive heart attack.  Because she was also dealing with a bleeding issue, there was nothing they could do for the heart attack and because of the heart attack there was nothing they could do to find the bleed.  So, the family was called in and everyone arrived hoping that they wouldn't be too late to say goodbye.  But we were given an unexpected blessing.  For the last few days, though her body is continually failing, her mind has been sharp and we have been able to have some wonderful times together.  Reminiscing, singing, praying, laughing, and even taking Communion together.  Our time with her is now quite short, but the past few days has reminded us of a few things that she had taught us over the years.  Important lessons that we will never forget.

Kindness Counts

Family Game Night

If you ever met my Grandma Claudia, you know the kind of person she is.  Her sweetness just pours out of her.  In fact, every nurse who took care of her in the hospital commented on how sweet she is. She treats every person she meets like a friend and friends are treated like family.  Every nurse that has cared for her has commented on her sweetness.  Last night, when one of them realized that she would be passing away soon, she cried...and these folks only met her a few days ago.  She literally leaves an impact on every person she meets...no matter the length of time she is with them.  And her impact is made through her kind, gentle spirit, and her compassion for all those around her.

We love when Grandma gets tickled.

Family is her life
There is never any doubt how Grandma feels about her family.  We all know that her dog, Bear, is her favorite in the family, however her love for the rest of us just pours out of every part of her.  Her words tell us she loves us, her actions show that she loves us, and her prayers surround us.  She brightens our good times and brings comfort and support during our trials.  When she is gone, there will be a hole bigger than Texas in all of our lives.  

Circumstances do NOT define who we are.
Though, there was a lot of joy in Grandma's life, there was a lot of pain as well.  But no matter how bad the situations in her life would get, her circumstances did not define her.  Her love for God showed through every situation that came her way.  Through the good, through the bad, in every day life, The love of Jesus shines through Grandma.

Life is Funny

Grandma and Laura

There will be funny things that happen in our lives.  And those funny circumstances should be shared and laughed over.  Our family has spent many many hours around the kitchen table playing games, talking about our lives, and laughing.  Lots of laughing.  We have many stories on Grandma and ourselves revolving around every day things that went off kilter.  Laughter keeps us going and memories of those times make tough times easier.  

Aunt Rona, Grandma and Rick

Jesus is her best friend.
I can't tell you how many times, I walked out of my room to find Grandma pouring over her Bible.  Even when it was no longer easy for her to read because her eyesight was getting worse, she would have her Bible out.  Studying the words of Scripture with a passion all her own.  When it was told to her that she would probably not survive this current health crisis, her response was simply, "If Jesus lets me stay, that's fine and if He takes me home, that's fine too."  But it was followed closely by words for all of us, "I want to see you all there too!"  And it wasn't a haphazard remark...it was a reminder to us that she wanted us to follow Jesus and live in such a way that we would indeed see her in heaven.

We've learned a lot from Grandma...and even now, we are learning how to leave gracefully.  I can not fathom what life will look like without her, but I am so blessed to have had her in my life for all these years. 

Grandma, Dad, and Aunt Rona

A Journey I Never Expected...

The summer between my Freshman and Sophmore year of High School, I attended Nazarene Youth Congress.  That event changed the course of my life because during one of those worship services, I felt a call to full time Christian service...but I didn't know in what form as yet.  So, my journey began.

My family had been in Evangelism when I was growing up and I had a decent singing voice so I thought perhaps I was supposed to be a song evangelist.  But, I really had no idea if that was what I was supposed to do.  By the middle of my first semester at Trevecca Nazarene University, I was feeling pulled in a different direction and I changed my major from Vocal Performance to Music Business and I really felt like I was supposed to be used within the music industry...perhaps as a producer of Christian music or something of that nature.  But, I became ill before I finished my Music Business degree (though I had finished all the music classes, I lacked some of the business courses), and it seemed like God had a different plan for me.  My illness would not allow me to return to finish the few credits I lacked so I graduated with an AA in General Studies.  I was determined to follow that plan, but I still didn't know what that was.

While I was praying and trying to find out God's will for me, I took jobs as a church secretary and then later secretarial positions at both Ball State and Anderson University while I tried to discern God's plan for me.  For a time after college, I really thought I was supposed to make Christian films and one day own my own studio. I performed in Community Theater and learned all I could about performing and putting on performances and while I loved it, it still didn't seem like the right fit.

By this time I had moved back to Indiana and had been attending my home church in Middletown where I was a volunteer in both the children and youth departments.  I helped in any way they would let me.  Rev. Jill Waltz gave me added responsibilities and I was even slightly paid for a time as a leader of one of the areas.  I loved working with the children and I enjoyed seeing their eyes light up as they started to understand a Biblical concept or beam with pride when they memorized a scripture. For five years, I worked with Jill and she trained me in many aspects of children's ministry...but the whole time, I was struggling.  I couldn't figure out why the Lord wouldn't show me where He wanted me to work.  What was His plan?

And then one day, it hit me...like a lighting bolt.  "You are to be a Children's Pastor."

And then the questioning began..."You can't mean me?  My Dad's a Pastor.  My brother is a Pastor.  You surely don't need me in the pastorate too?"

But God replied, gently but firmly, "Yes, I do.  I need you to be a Children's Pastor."

So, I went into Children's Ministry.  I received my first Local Minister's License from the Middletown Church of the Nazarene in 2003, took my first full time ministry assignment as the Children and Youth Pastor at the Muncie Southside Church of the Nazarene in 2004, was given my first District License in 2005 and have been working toward becoming and Ordained Elder since that time. 

This is not a journey I ever planned to take.  I knew when I started on it that it would not be easy.  In fact, at first I was terrified at the thought of being a Pastor. I knew that it would include new challenges, moments of joy, heartbreak, new friends, hard work, exhaustion and exhilaration.  But I also knew that the One who called me would walk through all those times with me.  And from the first step of this Journey...I never again felt like I wasn't where I was supposed to be.  I knew I was doing what God wanted.

Twenty five years ago, I told the Lord that I would go anywhere, do anything, and be whatever He wanted me to be.  So far that journey has literally taken me across the country, out of my comfort zone, and into places I never dreamed. On May 4th,  after 10 years and working toward the goal on four Districts in three States, I will be Ordained as an Elder in the Church of the Nazarene.  And I want to say "Thank you" to all of you who have supported me on this journey.  Whether you were there when it started 25 years ago, or have come along side me at some point since then, I want you to know that you are a blessing to my life. 

The Journey is by no means over, but this will be a milestone marker in my life and I just wanted to take a moment and reflect on the road that has brought me to this point.  God has been and continues to be my Guide, my Comfort, my Shelter, my All...and I look forward to continuing to follow His lead.

Grandma...my hero.

I've been living with my Grandma now for more than a year.  She will be 81 next month and is not in the best of health.  However in the last few months I have begun to see her really start to slip in her mind and that is a tough thing to be witness to.  She forgets nearly anything she is told, she is easily frustrated, and I am beginning to see where I get my stubborn streak from.  But the hardest to watch might be her preparation for leaving this world.  She goes through old letters and papers and sets them aside as things that different family members might want.  She talks often of leaving and of how much she misses her sisters and parents who have gone before her.

I do not look forward to the day that she passes away.  I hope it is not for a long time yet.  Grandma has been a shining light in my life for as long as I can remember.  She has always been a listening ear when I needed it, a prayer warrior, and encourager and one who shows unconditional love to all within her reach.  She has demonstrated to me how to show the love of Jesus to those who cause her pain, how to persevere no matter the circumstance, and the joys of the little things in life.   I am quite certain that I will never hear a bird sing or  listen to the wind blow without thinking of her and of how she enjoys those two things so much.

Dad and Grandma

The thing she doesn't realize is just how far a reach her influence has had over the years.  It is not uncommon that I will meet someone whose life she has touched.  She sees herself as a small person (she's not quite 5 feet tall) without much influence, but what I have seen is a mild mannered woman with a superhuman capacity to love, encourage, teach, and pray.  In many ways, she is my hero.

She can not drive, has difficulty walking, one arm is nearly immobile and she can not see all that well.  But she is still one of the most amazing women I have ever known in my life.   I am so blessed to get to live with her.  I am blessed to get to help take care of her as she gets older.

We often take for granted our loved ones.  We get busy and forget to call or choose to let other things take priority in our lives because after all...we can talk to them later.  But living with Grandma reminds me that that is simply not true.  Sadly, one day they will be gone, so we must take advantage of the time that we are given.

Leaving a Lasting Impression...

Today I will be attending a funeral.  The funeral is for Betty Whitteberry, an amazing woman of faith who I have known most of my life.  She was a strong woman who was not afraid to say what was on her mind.  She was a godly woman who wanted others to know her Savior as well.  She and her husband, Rev. David Whitteberry have impacted my life in ways they will never fully know.  Partially because they have had such a profound impact on my parent's life and the life of my grandparents as well.  I have many times heard my Dad speak of Rev. Whitteberry and how much Dad has learned from him over the years.  My Mom loved Betty and my Grandma refers to Betty as someone akin to a sister in her life.  These three people have been some of the biggest influences on my spiritual life and some of their biggest influences were the Whitteberrys.  So you can see, that though I have had the privilege of knowing both Rev. and Mrs. Whitteberry personally, their impact on my life far surpasses the time I have had with them.  Though Betty is now with our loving Savior, her influence can still be seen in all who knew her.

Influence is like that.  We have an impact on those around us, but it can go much farther than we realize.  Those who impact us, impact those we are in contact with as well.  And that leaves a lasting impression on far more people than we realize.

It makes me wonder what kind of impact I am leaving on those around me?  What kind of impact are you leaving?  The memory verse we are learning is Children's Church is James 2:17 "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."  If our faith in Christ isn't being lived out in our lives through our actions, we are not leaving the kind of impression we should be.

Ms. Betty left a legacy of faith being lived out through her actions that will last far longer than her earthly life.  I hope someday the same can be said of me. 

Semis still scare me, but...

So, today was not anything like I had expected.  This morning I left the house early to get to Marion for the last day of my Supervised Ministry Class.  I had been working through this class for 6 months, so it was a relief to turn in my binder of papers and complete it.

Around 11:00am, class was over and I started to head for home.  It had started to snow while I was in class and I was amazed at how difficult it was to see and how quickly it had changed from when I had left the house this morning.  I decided to do a quick drive through for lunch and head home.  Normally, I would not have eaten so early, but I just felt like it might be a good idea.  I'm so glad I did.

As I got on interstate 69, I was just amazed at how strange the weather was.  It was bright with sunshine one minute and then nearly a whiteout the next.  I was only going probably 50 miles and hour or less on at 70mph road because it was so frequent that you could not see more than a few dozen feet in front of you.

Directly in front of me.

Then it happened.  I came through at white out section and saw that in front of me was a huge group of cars and trucks...stopped.  I thought to myself, if there is any ice at all here, I'm going to crash, but I hit the brakes and miraculously there was no ice and I stopped before I hit any cars.  There was a large semi perhaps 50-100 yards behind me who had also stopped without hitting anything.  I saw trucks and cars sliding all around me into the ditch on one side or the median on the other.  There was a large group of teenagers (I assume from the school bus in the accident) who were climbing a fence into a field to get away from the oncoming cars who could not stop.  I called 911 and as I talked to the operator (it was now 11:35am) I could see hear cars crunching into the semi behind me hard enough to move the semi forward and I saw parts of one of the cars fly in the air, but having that semi there, kept the cars from hitting me and the couple of cars on either side of me (one of which had 3 small children in it).  Several years ago, a semi accidentally ran my Mom and I off the road, and I've been afraid to be near them ever since...but not today.  Never did I feel so blessed to have a semi behind me. 

The field the teens were going to for safety at one point.

The semi's who protected me

Eventually the crashing stopped and people felt safe enough to get out of their cars and see what was happening.  I, did not personally see any injured person near me, but I did not get out of my car at first.  I was too nervous that some other car would come barreling through. But none did.  I called my parents to let them know what had happened and my Aunt because I knew she had been north of the accident and didn't want her to get caught in it.  Then I called my Grandma so she wouldn't worry (I live with her and she is prone to worry.)  Then I sat in my car and waited.  I knew that I was going to be there awhile.  I got out and took a couple pictures and got back in my car.  The police came through and told everyone to stay in their vehicles so the EMT's could work.  I'm sure there were hurt people (had to be from some of the crashes I heard), but I only saw one gurney come through and only heard a couple of ambulances leave with sirens blaring so I am hopeful that most injuries were not too severe.  For that I am so thankful.

In front and to the left of me.

We sat there for nearly 4 hours.  During that time, I got to thinking about how crazy it was that not only didn't I hit anyone, but no one hit me.  In fact, one of the policemen (or firefighters...was a little hard to tell as there were so many around) asked me several times if I was ok and seemed shocked that I hadn't hit anyone or anyone hit me.  But if that semi and the one behind it, hadn't been there, this would be a very different story.  A very different story.  I very much feel that I was a part of a miracle.  Especially, since I have not heard of one fatality from the pileup.  That, is a miracle indeed.

The news reports I have seen say there were at least 20 cars in this wreck.  I would say it was at least double that number if not more.  I myself, counted 22 and that was just the cars I could see.  Not the ones blocked by the semi's and other vehicles.  In fact, one of the police officers, climbed a ladder leaned against a semi in front of me to take pictures of the accident.  Must have been a huge area to need to get that high. 

As I sit at home now, safe and sound, I am in awe of what could have happened, but didn't.  I felt the prayers of those who were lifting them up.  This was indeed a day that I won't soon forget.  Thank you Jesus, for you protection. 

For the record, I'm still rather afraid of semis...but I am so thankful this one was there today.